diff --git a/index.js b/index.js
index 7630d0538a..2f13ce1ea1 100644
--- a/index.js
+++ b/index.js
@@ -1,14 +1,11 @@
 import 'react-native-gesture-handler' // must be first
-import {LogBox} from 'react-native'
-
 import '#/platform/polyfills'
-import {IS_TEST} from '#/env'
+
+import {LogBox} from 'react-native'
 import {registerRootComponent} from 'expo'
-import {doPolyfill} from '#/lib/api/api-polyfill'
 
 import App from '#/App'
-
-doPolyfill()
+import {IS_TEST} from '#/env'
 
 if (IS_TEST) {
   LogBox.ignoreAllLogs() // suppress all logs in tests
diff --git a/index.web.js b/index.web.js
index 9623734512..be75bc772e 100644
--- a/index.web.js
+++ b/index.web.js
@@ -1,9 +1,8 @@
 import '#/platform/markBundleStartTime'
-
 import '#/platform/polyfills'
+
 import {registerRootComponent} from 'expo'
-import {doPolyfill} from '#/lib/api/api-polyfill'
+
 import App from '#/App'
 
-doPolyfill()
 registerRootComponent(App)
diff --git a/src/lib/api/api-polyfill.ts b/src/lib/api/api-polyfill.ts
deleted file mode 100644
index e3aec76316..0000000000
--- a/src/lib/api/api-polyfill.ts
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,85 +0,0 @@
-import RNFS from 'react-native-fs'
-import {BskyAgent, jsonToLex, stringifyLex} from '@atproto/api'
-
-const GET_TIMEOUT = 15e3 // 15s
-const POST_TIMEOUT = 60e3 // 60s
-
-export function doPolyfill() {
-  BskyAgent.configure({fetch: fetchHandler})
-}
-
-interface FetchHandlerResponse {
-  status: number
-  headers: Record<string, string>
-  body: any
-}
-
-async function fetchHandler(
-  reqUri: string,
-  reqMethod: string,
-  reqHeaders: Record<string, string>,
-  reqBody: any,
-): Promise<FetchHandlerResponse> {
-  const reqMimeType = reqHeaders['Content-Type'] || reqHeaders['content-type']
-  if (reqMimeType && reqMimeType.startsWith('application/json')) {
-    reqBody = stringifyLex(reqBody)
-  } else if (
-    typeof reqBody === 'string' &&
-    (reqBody.startsWith('/') || reqBody.startsWith('file:'))
-  ) {
-    if (reqBody.endsWith('.jpeg') || reqBody.endsWith('.jpg')) {
-      // HACK
-      // React native has a bug that inflates the size of jpegs on upload
-      // we get around that by renaming the file ext to .bin
-      // see https://github.com/facebook/react-native/issues/27099
-      // -prf
-      const newPath = reqBody.replace(/\.jpe?g$/, '.bin')
-      await RNFS.moveFile(reqBody, newPath)
-      reqBody = newPath
-    }
-    // NOTE
-    // React native treats bodies with {uri: string} as file uploads to pull from cache
-    // -prf
-    reqBody = {uri: reqBody}
-  }
-
-  const controller = new AbortController()
-  const to = setTimeout(
-    () => controller.abort(),
-    reqMethod === 'post' ? POST_TIMEOUT : GET_TIMEOUT,
-  )
-
-  const res = await fetch(reqUri, {
-    method: reqMethod,
-    headers: reqHeaders,
-    body: reqBody,
-    signal: controller.signal,
-  })
-
-  const resStatus = res.status
-  const resHeaders: Record<string, string> = {}
-  res.headers.forEach((value: string, key: string) => {
-    resHeaders[key] = value
-  })
-  const resMimeType = resHeaders['Content-Type'] || resHeaders['content-type']
-  let resBody
-  if (resMimeType) {
-    if (resMimeType.startsWith('application/json')) {
-      resBody = jsonToLex(await res.json())
-    } else if (resMimeType.startsWith('text/')) {
-      resBody = await res.text()
-    } else if (resMimeType === 'application/vnd.ipld.car') {
-      resBody = await res.arrayBuffer()
-    } else {
-      throw new Error('Non-supported mime type')
-    }
-  }
-
-  clearTimeout(to)
-
-  return {
-    status: resStatus,
-    headers: resHeaders,
-    body: resBody,
-  }
-}
diff --git a/src/lib/api/api-polyfill.web.ts b/src/lib/api/api-polyfill.web.ts
deleted file mode 100644
index 1ad22b3d02..0000000000
--- a/src/lib/api/api-polyfill.web.ts
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,3 +0,0 @@
-export function doPolyfill() {
-  // no polyfill is needed on web
-}
diff --git a/src/lib/api/index.ts b/src/lib/api/index.ts
index 5b1c998cb8..13fee02703 100644
--- a/src/lib/api/index.ts
+++ b/src/lib/api/index.ts
@@ -6,7 +6,6 @@ import {
   AppBskyFeedThreadgate,
   BskyAgent,
   ComAtprotoLabelDefs,
-  ComAtprotoRepoUploadBlob,
   RichText,
 } from '@atproto/api'
 import {AtUri} from '@atproto/api'
@@ -15,10 +14,13 @@ import {logger} from '#/logger'
 import {ThreadgateSetting} from '#/state/queries/threadgate'
 import {isNetworkError} from 'lib/strings/errors'
 import {shortenLinks, stripInvalidMentions} from 'lib/strings/rich-text-manip'
-import {isNative, isWeb} from 'platform/detection'
+import {isNative} from 'platform/detection'
 import {ImageModel} from 'state/models/media/image'
 import {LinkMeta} from '../link-meta/link-meta'
 import {safeDeleteAsync} from '../media/manip'
+import {uploadBlob} from './upload-blob'
+
+export {uploadBlob}
 
 export interface ExternalEmbedDraft {
   uri: string
@@ -28,25 +30,6 @@ export interface ExternalEmbedDraft {
   localThumb?: ImageModel
 }
 
-export async function uploadBlob(
-  agent: BskyAgent,
-  blob: string,
-  encoding: string,
-): Promise<ComAtprotoRepoUploadBlob.Response> {
-  if (isWeb) {
-    // `blob` should be a data uri
-    return agent.uploadBlob(convertDataURIToUint8Array(blob), {
-      encoding,
-    })
-  } else {
-    // `blob` should be a path to a file in the local FS
-    return agent.uploadBlob(
-      blob, // this will be special-cased by the fetch monkeypatch in /src/state/lib/api.ts
-      {encoding},
-    )
-  }
-}
-
 interface PostOpts {
   rawText: string
   replyTo?: string
@@ -308,15 +291,3 @@ export async function createThreadgate(
     },
   })
 }
-
-// helpers
-// =
-
-function convertDataURIToUint8Array(uri: string): Uint8Array {
-  var raw = window.atob(uri.substring(uri.indexOf(';base64,') + 8))
-  var binary = new Uint8Array(new ArrayBuffer(raw.length))
-  for (let i = 0; i < raw.length; i++) {
-    binary[i] = raw.charCodeAt(i)
-  }
-  return binary
-}
diff --git a/src/lib/api/upload-blob.ts b/src/lib/api/upload-blob.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..0814d5185b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/lib/api/upload-blob.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,82 @@
+import RNFS from 'react-native-fs'
+import {BskyAgent, ComAtprotoRepoUploadBlob} from '@atproto/api'
+
+/**
+ * @param encoding Allows overriding the blob's type
+ */
+export async function uploadBlob(
+  agent: BskyAgent,
+  input: string | Blob,
+  encoding?: string,
+): Promise<ComAtprotoRepoUploadBlob.Response> {
+  if (typeof input === 'string' && input.startsWith('file:')) {
+    const blob = await asBlob(input)
+    return agent.uploadBlob(blob, {encoding})
+  }
+
+  if (typeof input === 'string' && input.startsWith('/')) {
+    const blob = await asBlob(`file://${input}`)
+    return agent.uploadBlob(blob, {encoding})
+  }
+
+  if (typeof input === 'string' && input.startsWith('data:')) {
+    const blob = await fetch(input).then(r => r.blob())
+    return agent.uploadBlob(blob, {encoding})
+  }
+
+  if (input instanceof Blob) {
+    return agent.uploadBlob(input, {encoding})
+  }
+
+  throw new TypeError(`Invalid uploadBlob input: ${typeof input}`)
+}
+
+async function asBlob(uri: string): Promise<Blob> {
+  return withSafeFile(uri, async safeUri => {
+    // Note
+    // Android does not support `fetch()` on `file://` URIs. for this reason, we
+    // use XMLHttpRequest instead of simply calling:
+
+    // return fetch(safeUri.replace('file:///', 'file:/')).then(r => r.blob())
+
+    return await new Promise((resolve, reject) => {
+      const xhr = new XMLHttpRequest()
+      xhr.onload = () => resolve(xhr.response)
+      xhr.onerror = () => reject(new Error('Failed to load blob'))
+      xhr.responseType = 'blob'
+      xhr.open('GET', safeUri, true)
+      xhr.send(null)
+    })
+  })
+}
+
+// HACK
+// React native has a bug that inflates the size of jpegs on upload
+// we get around that by renaming the file ext to .bin
+// see https://github.com/facebook/react-native/issues/27099
+// -prf
+async function withSafeFile<T>(
+  uri: string,
+  fn: (path: string) => Promise<T>,
+): Promise<T> {
+  if (uri.endsWith('.jpeg') || uri.endsWith('.jpg')) {
+    // Since we don't "own" the file, we should avoid renaming or modifying it.
+    // Instead, let's copy it to a temporary file and use that (then remove the
+    // temporary file).
+    const newPath = uri.replace(/\.jpe?g$/, '.bin')
+    try {
+      await RNFS.copyFile(uri, newPath)
+    } catch {
+      // Failed to copy the file, just use the original
+      return await fn(uri)
+    }
+    try {
+      return await fn(newPath)
+    } finally {
+      // Remove the temporary file
+      await RNFS.unlink(newPath)
+    }
+  } else {
+    return fn(uri)
+  }
+}
diff --git a/src/lib/api/upload-blob.web.ts b/src/lib/api/upload-blob.web.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..d3c52190c1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/lib/api/upload-blob.web.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+import {BskyAgent, ComAtprotoRepoUploadBlob} from '@atproto/api'
+
+/**
+ * @note It is recommended, on web, to use the `file` instance of the file
+ * selector input element, rather than a `data:` URL, to avoid
+ * loading the file into memory. `File` extends `Blob` "file" instances can
+ * be passed directly to this function.
+ */
+export async function uploadBlob(
+  agent: BskyAgent,
+  input: string | Blob,
+  encoding?: string,
+): Promise<ComAtprotoRepoUploadBlob.Response> {
+  if (typeof input === 'string' && input.startsWith('data:')) {
+    const blob = await fetch(input).then(r => r.blob())
+    return agent.uploadBlob(blob, {encoding})
+  }
+
+  if (input instanceof Blob) {
+    return agent.uploadBlob(input, {
+      encoding,
+    })
+  }
+
+  throw new TypeError(`Invalid uploadBlob input: ${typeof input}`)
+}
diff --git a/src/lib/media/manip.ts b/src/lib/media/manip.ts
index 3e647004bb..3f01e98c5e 100644
--- a/src/lib/media/manip.ts
+++ b/src/lib/media/manip.ts
@@ -218,13 +218,7 @@ export async function safeDeleteAsync(path: string) {
   // Normalize is necessary for Android, otherwise it doesn't delete.
   const normalizedPath = normalizePath(path)
   try {
-    await Promise.allSettled([
-      deleteAsync(normalizedPath, {idempotent: true}),
-      // HACK: Try this one too. Might exist due to api-polyfill hack.
-      deleteAsync(normalizedPath.replace(/\.jpe?g$/, '.bin'), {
-        idempotent: true,
-      }),
-    ])
+    await deleteAsync(normalizedPath, {idempotent: true})
   } catch (e) {
     console.error('Failed to delete file', e)
   }